Monday, January 31, 2011

I broke my ballet....

So, I used to dance. I use to dance a lot. At one time in my graceful, light footed youth I was decent enough to dance in pointe shoes and be in recitals and impress my parents. All this has changed and since come a thing of the past. When a friend asked me if I wanted to join her in a adult ballet class for a semester I jumped at the opportunity. I loved to dance, I miss dancing, I still have dreams about dancing, I regularly stretch.

Tonight was my second dance class. I broke my ballet and I dont think it can be fixed. I remember how to do things, I know how certain moves are supposed to feel, I know how it should look. The problem is none of that seems to happen anymore. A simple grande plie has me wabling and reaching towards the floor for stability. A balance in releve has my ankles knocking and arms flaying about. My feet hurt when I point. I cant bend backwards in a stretch to save my life. When asked to chaine across the dance floor I realized I had lost the ability to spot. The effects of which are you feel like the room is spinning. If you have ever consumed too much alcohol and felt that the room is spinning around you...its a lot like that sans alcohol.

Today while stretching the instructor wanted to demonstrate to his, if not eager than certainly assertive students how to best....well do something, I didnt really understand the point. But he had us stand with one leg on the barre. Then he walked up to me and asked me to lift my leg off the barre. The incredulous look on my face apparently was not warning enough for him to stop right there. "You really cant lift your leg?" What I wanted to say was "No the fat in my leg weighs too much for my little leg muscles to lift and if you werent so insensitive you might figure that out!" but instead I just shook my head.

I remember than in my youth I had a better attitude when it came to dancing moves I didnt like our found hard. I would just muddle my way through them. Not so much anymore. When told what combination we will be doing next or after watching a demonstrations or having a correction it is not uncommon to hear mutterings like "well thats not likely to happen", or "um no" or "well that was a crap shoot" and "well that cant be good for my body to move like that".

So I dont dance like I used to, but I still have fun.


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