Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Home at last, thank God Almighty, I'm home at last. I feel a little reflection is called for. First of all I learned so much about myself. I am my father's daughter, which I always new, but was once agian made clear to me. In other words I am quick to anger and yell. Not good. Really worked on praying for guidance on how to deal with frustrating matters and not react with anger. I pray that God continue to work on me in that respect. Which really means that I'll be givin sittuations that are frustrating and stressfull and I'll once agian be shown that I try to do things on my own and respond with strong negative emotions when they dont go well. Oh well, if thats what it takes, that's what it takes. I feel I have gained a certain understanding about myself and a more of a servant's heart but...well I fear for it. I've often thought that we play different roles around different people. Will I fall back into my family role while at home? Will I loose that little bit of a servant's heart I gained while at camp?

The other day I told a family member about my recent thoughts about my future. It was considerable less scary than I had antcipated. I also made it was very clear that at this point it was only a thought, not something to hold me to. Looking further into this plan I get my hopes up more and more. Day dreaming about the possibilites that lie with taking that route. Yet do I have what it takes to even make that idea a possibility? Many signs indicate doubtful...but Im planing big so will continue to look into what every possibilities I can.


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