Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Tonight I had my last class of my first semester of graduate school (big sigh). My grades for both classes will based on one paper each. I have already completed a first draft of one of them and have yet to start the other. One of my three dearest friends will be coming to spend her Christmas break with me and this has proved to be great motivation for working on them.

I will have a possible total of three visitors over my Christmas break which goes until the end of January. I can not begin to express how greatly I anticipate their arrival. With them will come not only oreos and presents from home but memories and a sense of familiarity. With them they will carry a sense of what I know, what I am used to and what I miss. They carry with them and are themselves a comfort to me, weather they know it or not. I have a created a list of all the places to go and things to see while they are here, in hopes of not only keeping us busy and allowing us to explore London, but also hoping it will some how help me to forget that I am not home this Christmas.

This year I will not be eating dozens of homemade Christmas cookies. I will not being going to a Christmas Eve service with my Mom. I will not hear my father read the Biblical Christmas story or pray with my family before opening gifts, nor eat our traditional Christmas breakfast of cinnamon rolls with tea as gifts are passed around. I will not sneak peaks at the Christmas tree hoping to find the pickle that my Mom hides allowing the finder to be the official passer-outer of gifts. All the traditions of my family, things that have been done for as long as I can remember will continue to be done but I will not be present for them this year.

There will be two absent from the Christmas celebrations this year. Mine is only a temporary one. The other will be a permanent absences. Hadi will not be there talking everyone's year off of what her father got her. She will not share the details of whatever new tweety thing she received from her mother nor the cool thing her cool older brother got her. Agian I feel as though I am not able to be there for my family when they so need someone else to help out, to share in sorrow and in laughter, to be there to be a comforter and cry with.

I will of course enjoy my Christmas adventure of spending it with a bestfriend in a great city. I will also ache for the family that is celebrating and grieving thousands of miles away.


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