Monday, October 31, 2005

This weekend I went home to celebrate my 22nd birthday with my family. A friend decided to come home with me Friday night for some outlet mall shopping and a visit to suburban life. Just before 9pm I received a call on my cell from my roommate from Calvin boyfriend. It is not unusual for us to talk and hang out a lot but it was unusual for him to call me to chat. After a few minutes he instructed me to go open my front door. After a few “no ways” from me I was delighted to find my roomie and her boyfriend standing in my driveway. I screamed actually upon finding them there. She is one of my best friends. We talk a lot. We are very much alike in temperament and living style. It was the best birthday surprise I could ask for.
The next day they attended my family birthday get-together. My wise friend from this summer was also there. I think I will now refer to her as my spiritual guru. After just about everyone but my grandparents left we got a chance to sit down and talk. It was a good conversation but a painful one. I recognize her amazing faith, experience, knowledge and understanding not to mention wisdom, but…well I also recognize the fact that there is no middle ground with her. She tells you what’s what and that’s the end basically. All the things she had to say to me and actions she advised me on were all well received but hard to take in. There were tears shed by us both. I want to and will defiantly make an effort to follow through on her advice but it will be a huge undertaking and challenge to me. Of course if this is God’s will I should expect nothing less- right. I’ve learned not to pray for things unless you are prepared for what they entail. Do not pray for patients unless you are ready and willing for someone or something to be introduced into your life that will try your patients. When you pray for someone to come to Christ, be ready for it to be you who leads them because that is a real possibility.
Upon returning back to my apartment in the city I received an email I was totally unprepared for. Although I was not totally surprised to read the message left as it only affirmed my suspicions I was not ready to deal with it just then. I called my Calvin roommate who laughed and shared my news with her boyfriend instead of giving condolences.
All in all the weekend was fun filled and memorable. I am exhausted despite the hour we gained in the time change Saturday. The whole weekend was constantly full of people. Which I enjoyed and was thankful for but I am defiantly one of those people who regularly need alone time. I got a little of that Saturday night when I watched a movie and dyed my hair. Which by the way felt great to do! I haven’t dyed my hair since April- too long. I crave the change that dying my hair brings. This alone time was just as exhausting as constantly being around people though because although I choose a great movie to watch it made me cry my eyes out thus perpetuating the drained feeling. Hopefully the coming week will bring along time opportunities, clarity, inner peace and reflection.

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